I have just spent my morning making friends with the sweetest little boy in the world. He laughs at my stupid jokes and terrible singing while I keep him from falling and help hm turn on his bike; I see a beautiful friendship in the making :DD
One day I will realize that you never deserved me.
I’ll wake up to a beautifully cloudy sky and figure out that you weren’t worth the endless tears, constant sadness, and overall heaviness in spirit. That you weren’t worth every sleepless night, worried friend, and constant heartache. That you simply weren’t worth every god-damned second I wasted on wishing you’d return or hoping that things were different.
I’ll wake up and stare and the sky and smile because it’s a beautiful day that is filled with wonders. I’ll love openly and freely and without restraint and laugh for no other reason than because I can, becasue it makes me happy.
And that’s the big kicker, ain’t it.
One day I will realize that I never needed you to be happy.
I just finished training for Lose the Training Wheels, an organization that helps children with mental disabilities learn confidence and self-assurance through bike riding.
For the rest of the week I will be volunteering with this wonderful organization as Spotter, someone who cheers the child on and helps steady then if they should wobble or fall.
I’m really excited to work with these kids and I can’t wait to start!
True strength is found in the ability to survive in the face of pain.
Suffering breaks us down, tears us apart, and isolates us. It cruelly reopens old wounds until we are left raw and bleeding. It gathers us, weak as we are, and makes us weaker still with the lingering doubt that will never go away.
And it shatters us until we are no more than broken pieces of a shell.
But slowly, strength engulfs us in it’s warm embrace. It envelops us in Courage and tells us that broken though we are, we can be rebuilt. It heals us, holds us close, and allows us to feel once more. If gives us back to ourselves so we are no longer broken, scarred yes, but never broken.
And it gives us the hope that though pain has left a mark on us, we are still human.